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CHAPTER VII.

THE SAINTS GATHER AT NAUVOO.

    ABOUT the middle of February, 1839, I started back for Fayette County, Illinois, with my family, in company with Levi Stewart and Riley Helm, two of my old Illinois neighbors. While traveling through Missouri we were kindly treated by most of the people; many of them requested us to stop and settle down by them. I refused to do so, for I knew there was no safety for a true Saint in that State, at that time. When we crossed the Mississippi River at Quincy, and touched Illinois soil, I felt like a new man, and a free American citizen again. At this place I found many of the Saints who had preceded us, camped along the river. Some had obtained employment, all appeared happy in the faith and strong in the determination to build up the Kingdom. Here I parted with Riley Helm, him team had given out, and he could go no farther. I gave him twenty-five cents in money, all that I had in the world, and twelve pounds of nails, to buy food with until he could find aid from some other quarter. I had laid in enough provisions at Brother Morris' to last me until I could reach my old home again.

    I started from Quincy by way of Mr. Vanleven's, the man I sold my cattle to when going to join the Saints. Without meeting with any remarkable adventures, I arrived at Vanleven's house and was kindly received by him. He had the money ready for me, and paid me in full all he owed on the cattle. I now saw that some honesty yet remained in the world. I took $200 and left the rest of it with my friend and banker, so that it would be safe in case I met another storm of oppression.

    I then went to Vandalia, Illinois, and put up with my wife's sister's husband, Hickerson. He was in good circumstances. I left my wife with her sister, after laying in a supply of provisions for her and our child. I then commenced preparing for a mission. I did not know where I was to go, but I felt it my duty to go forth and give my testimony to the truth of the Gospel as revealed by Joseph Smith, the Prophet of the everlasting God. Stewart was to go with me; he had made arrangements for the comfort of his family during his absence.

    I started on my first mission about the 1st of April, 1889. I bade adieu to my little family and started forth, an illiterate, inexperienced person, without purse or scrip. I could hardly quote a passage of Scripture, yet I went forth to say to the world that I was a minister of the gospel, bearing a message from on high, with the authority to call upon all men to repent, be baptized for the remission of their sins, and receive the Holy Spirit by the laying on of hands. I had never attempted to preach a discourse in my life. I expected trials, and I had them to undergo many times.

    Brother Stewart and myself started forth on foot, with our valises on our backs. We walked about thirty miles the first day, and as night was approaching, we called at a house for lodging. They had been having a log rolling there that day, and quite a number of people were around the house. We asked for lodging and refreshments. Our request was carried back to the supper-room to the man of the house, and we stood at the gate awaiting the reply. Presently the man came out and said that no d-d Mormon preacher could stay in his house; and if we wished to save our scalps, we had better be making tracks lively. Brother Stewart took him at his word, and started off at a double quick. I followed, but more slowly. We made no reply to that man's remarks.

    A mile further on we again called for lodging. The man could not keep us, as be was poor, and his family was sick; but he directed us to a house half a mile from the traveled road, where he said a man lived that was an infidel, but he would not turn a hungry man from his door. We went to the house, and asked for entertainment. The man said he never turned a man from his door hungry, but he had as soon entertain horse-thieves as Mormon preachers; that he looked upon all Mormons as thieves, robbers and scoundrels. There was determination in his voice as he addressed us in this manner. He held his rifle in his hand while speaking. Then he said, "Walk in, gentlemen. I never turn the hungry away." He then addressed his wife, a very pretty, unassuming lady, and said, "Get these men some supper, for I suppose they feel pretty lank."

    A good supper was soon on the table; but I could not eat. Stewart ate his supper, and soon was enjoying himself talking to the family. He was a great talker; liked to hear himself talk. They requested me to eat, but I thanked them, and said rest would do me more good than eating. I soon retired, but did not sleep. I was humiliated; my proud spirit was broken and humbled; the rough words used toward me had stricken me to the heart. At daylight we were on our way again.

    About ten o'clock we arrived at a little town, and went to the pump to get a drink. While there a woman came to the pump, and asked us if we were Mormon preachers. We told her we were out on that business, but had never preached yet. She invited us to her house, saying she owned the hotel; that she was a widow; she would inform the people of the town that we were there, and as it was the Sabbath, we could preach in her house for she wished to hear the strange doctrine. We consented to remain, and went home with her and had something to eat. At eleven o'clock, A. M., I made my debut to quite an attentive audience. I both quoted and made Scripture. I had been fasting and praying until I had become as humble as a child. My whole mind and soul were swallowed up in the Gospel. My most earnest desire was to be able to impart to others that knowledge that I had of the truths of the Gospel. When I began to speak I felt an electric thrill through any whole system. I hardly knew what I said, and the people said I spoke from inspiration; and none of the audience noticed my mistakes in quoting Scripture.

    After dinner my companion, Stewart, proposed to travel on, and I agreeing with him, we left the town, although the people wished us to stay and preach again. I had but little confidence in myself, and concluded to preach but seldom, until I got over my timidity or man-fearing feeling that most new beginners are subject to. But I have now been a public speaker for thirty-five years, and I have not yet entirely gotten over that feeling.

    We started for Cincinnati, and traveled two days and a half without food. My boots hurt my feet and our progress was quite slow. The third night we applied to a tavern keeper for lodging and food. He said we were welcome to stay in his house free, but he must have pay for what we eat. We sat in the hall all night, for we were much reduced by hunger and fatigue. That was a miserable night indeed. I reflected the matter over and over again, scrutinized it up one side and down the other. I could not see why a servant of God should receive such treatment - that if I was in the right faith, doing the will of God, that He would open up the way before me, and not allow me to perish under the sore trials then surrounding me. I had seriously considered the propriety of walking back to where the kind landlady had given us our last meal, but was soon comforted, for these words came into my mind, "He that putteth his hands to the plow, and then looketh back, is not fit for the Kingdom of Heaven;" "If ye were of the world, then the world would love its own, but because I have chosen you out or the world, the world persecuteth you;" "Ye, and all who live Godly in Christ Jesus, shall suffer persecution, while evil men and seducers shall wax worse and worse, deceiving and being deceived;" that the Son of God himself, when he entered upon the duties of His mission, was led into the wilderness, where He was tempted forty days and nights, and when he was hungry and asked for bread, he was told, substantially, that if his mission was of God, that God would feed him, that if hungry he could turn the stones to bread and eat. I remembered that similar sayings had been thrown into our teeth. These thoughts passed through my frame like electricity, or to use the language of one of the old prophets, it was like fire shut up in my bones; I felt renewed and refreshed from head to foot, and determined to trust in that Arm that could not be broken, to conquer and subdue the passions of my nature, and by the help of God to try and bring them in subjection to the will of the Spirit, and not of the flesh, which is carnal, sensual and devilish. I determined that there should be no lack on my part.

     Daylight came at last, and we renewed our journey. I put a double guard over my evil passions that were sown thickly in my sinful nature. The passion most dreaded by me was the lust of the flesh; that I knew to be the worst enemy to my salvation, and I determined to master it. I have walked along in silence for hours, with my heart lifted up to God in prayer, pleading with Him to give me power over my passions and sinful desires, that I might conquer and drive from my mind those besetting sins that were continually warring with the Spirit, which, if cherished or suffered to remain, would wound and grieve the Spirit and drive it away. It is written, "My Spirit will not dwell in an unholy temple." Jesus said to his followers that they were the Temple of the Living God; that if they who had charge of those temples, or bodies, allowed them to become unholy, that he would destroy that body; but those who guarded their temples, and kept them pure and holy, that he and his Father would come and take up their abode and dwell with them as a constant companion forever, even unto the end; and would guide them in all, truth and show them things past, present and to come. From day to day I have kept my mind in a constant strain upon this subject. Notwithstanding this the tempter was ever on the alert, and contested every inch of ground with me. Often, while I was in the most solemn reflections, the tempter would place before me some lovely female, possessing all the allurements of her sex, to draw my mind from the contemplation of holy things. For a moment humanity would, claim the victory, but quick as thought I would banish the vision from my mind, and plead with God for strength and power to resist the temptations that were besetting me, and to enable me to cast aside the love of sinful pleasures. The words of the Apostle Paul were appropriate for me at that and in future time, when he declared that he died daily to crucify the deeds of the flesh; so it was with me. I was soon convinced that I could not serve two masters, God and Mammon. When I tried to please the one I was certain to displease the other. I found that I must give myself up wholly to God and His ministry, and conduct myself as a man of God, if I would be worthy of the name of a messenger of salvation. I must have the Spirit of God to accompany my words, and carry conviction to the honest in heart. In this way I grew in grace from day to day, and I have never seen the day that I regretted taking up my cross and giving up all other things to follow and obey Christ, my Redeemer and Friend.

    But I do most sincerely regret that I have ever suffered myself to be captivated by the wiles of the devil, contrary to my better judgment. I regret that I have ever listened, or given the least credence, to the many monstrous absurdities that Brigham Young has introduced into the Mormon creed, and claimed, as the successor of Joseph Smith, to have coupled with the gospel of Jesus Christ. Brigham Young has introduced many things that have no affinity with the gospel whatever; but these new doctrines are contrary, in spirit and substance, to the gospel. They are at war with the doctrines of the Church, and antagonistic to the peace, safety, and happiness of the people known as Latter Day Saints. The whole study, aim, and design of Brigham Young is to disrobe the Saints of every vestige of their remaining constitutional rights, and take from them all liberty of thought or conscience. He claims, and has claimed, since he became the head of the Church, that the will and acts of the people must all be dictated by him. The people have no right to exercise any will of their own. In a word, he makes himself out to be as infallible as the God of the universe, and delights in hearing the apostles and elders declare to the people that he, Brigham Young, is God. He claims that the people are answerable to him as to their God. That they must obey his every beck and call. It matters not what he commands or requests the people to do, it is their duty to bear and obey. To disobey the will of Brigham Young is, in his mind, a sin against the Holy Ghost, and is an unpardonable sin to be wiped out only by blood atonement. The followers of Brigham Young are serfs, slaves, and willing instruments to carry out the selfish designs of the man that disgraces the seat once occupied by God's chosen Prophet, Joseph Smith.

    I must now resume my narrative, but I will hereafter speak of Brigham Young more at length.

    We left the Fasting Hotel, as I called it, and traveled to Hamilton, Ohio, then a neat little town. As we arrived in the center of the town, I felt impressed to call at a restaurant, kept by a foreigner. It was then noon. This was the first house we had called at since morning. As we entered, the proprietor requested us to unstrap our valises and sit down and rest, saying we looked very tired. He asked where we were from, and where we were going. We answered all his questions. He then offered us refreshments; we informed him that we had no money, and had eaten nothing for three days. He said it made no difference to him, that if we had no money we were more welcome than if we had plenty of it. We then eat a hearty meal, and he gave us a drink of cider. He then filled our knapsacks with buns, cheese, sausages, and other things, after which be bid us God speed. We traveled on with hearts full of gratitude to God, the bountiful Giver, who had opened the heart of the stranger who had just supplied our wants, and we felt grateful to and blessed the man for his generous actions. While passing through Cincinnati we were offered refreshments by a lady that kept an inn. We crossed the Ohio river at Cincinnati, and stopped over night at a hotel on the Kentucky side of the river. We then traveled through Kentucky and into Overton and Jackson Counties, Tennessee.

    I now bear testimony, though many years have passed since then, that from the moment that I renewed my covenant to deny myself of all unrighteousness, and decided to live the life of a man devoted to God's work on earth, I have never felt that I was alone, or without a Friend powerful to aid, direct and shield me at all times and during all troubles.

    I stopped with my friend Levi Stewart at the houses of his relatives in Overton and Jackson Counties, and preached several times. My friend Stewart was blessed with a large bump of self-esteem. He imagined that he could convert all of his relations at once; that all he had to do was to present the gospel, and they would gladly embrace it. He appeared to forget that a prophet was not without honor, save in his own country and among bin own kinfolks. Stewart, though I was his superior in the priesthood, if not in experience and ability, Looked upon me as a cypher, fit for nothing. The rough treatment and slights that I received from him were more than humiliating to a man of fine feelings and a proud spirit, such as I possessed. I said nothing to him, but I poured out my soul in secret prayer to my Heavenly Father, asking him to open the door for my deliverance, so that my proud spirit, which was bound down, might have a chance to soar in a free element.

    One Sunday we attended a Baptist meeting. We sat facing the preachers but at the far side of the house. My mind was absorbed in meditating upon my future labors. Gradually I lost consciousness of my surroundings, and my whole being seemed in another locality. I was in a trance and saw future events. What I then saw was to me a reality, and I will describe it as such. I traveled, valise in hand, in a strange land, and among a people that I had never seen. I was kindly received by the people, and all my wants were supplied without my having to ask for charity. I traveled on, going over a mountainous country. I crossed a clear, handsome river, and was kindly received by the family of the owner of the ferry at the river. I stayed with this family for some days. I then recrossed the river and called at a house, where I asked for a drink of water, which was given to me. I held quite a conversation with two young women. They informed me that there was no minister in the neighborhood; also that their father had gone in pursuit of a Mormon preacher that had passed that way a few days before. A few days passed, and I saw myself in the midst of a large congregation, to whom I was preaching. I also baptized a large number and organized quite a flourishing branch of the Church there, and was in charge of that people. I was very popular with, and almost worshiped by, my congregation. I saw all this, and much more, when my vision closed.

    My mind gradually changed back, and I found myself sitting in the meeting house, where I had been just forty minutes before. This was an open day vision, in which the curtains of heaven were raised and held aside from futurity to allow me to look into the things which were to come. A feeling of heavenly rapture filled my being, so much so that, like the apostle who was caught up into the third heaven, I did not know whether I was in the body or out of it during my vision. I saw things that it would be unlawful for men to utter. While the vision lasted my soul was lighted up as if illuminated with the candle of God. When the vision closed, the hallowed influence gradually withdrew; yet leaving sufficient of its glorious influence upon my soul to justify me in feeling and knowing that I was then chosen of God as a servant in his earthly kingdom; and I was also made to know, by my sensations, that my vision was real, and would soon be verified in every particular.

    At the close of the church services, we returned to our lodgings. Stewart asked me if I was sick. I said, "No, I am not sick, but I feel serious; yet I am comfortable. That evening, after I had given some time to secret prayer, I retired to rest. Very soon afterwards the vision returned, though somewhat varied. I was in the midst of a strange people, to whom I was propounding the gospel. They received it with honest hearts, and looked upon me as a messenger of salvation. I visited from house to house, surrounded by friends and kindred spirits, with whom I had once been familiar in another state of existence. I was in the spirit, and communing with the host of spirits that surrounded me; and encouraged me to return to the body, and continue to act the part that my Master had assigned me. No person, except those who have entered by pureness of heart and constant communion with God, can ever enter into the joyous host, with whom I then, and in after life, held intercourse.

     When I came to myself in the morning, I determined to travel until the end of time, to find the people and country that God had shown me in my first vision; and I made my arrangements to start forth again, knowing that God now went with me.

    I started off the next morning, after having a talk with Brother Stewart. He tried to dissuade me from going, saying I had little experience, not sufficient to warrant my traveling alone, that we had better remain together where we were for a season, for we had a home there, and we could study and inform ourselves more thoroughly before starting out among strangers. I told him that, in and of my own strength I was but a weak vessel; but my trust was in God, and unless He would bless my labors I could not accomplish much. That I was God's servant, engaged in His work, therefore I looked to Him for strength and grace sufficient to sustain me in my day of trial. That I trusted in the arm of God alone, and not in one of flesh.

    I started off in a southwesterly course, over the Cumberland Mountains, and went about seventy miles through a heavily timbered country. I found many species of wild fruit in abundance along the way. Springs of pure, cold water were quite common. I passed many little farms and orchards of cultivated fruit, such as cherries, peaches, pears and apples. As I proceeded, the country became familiar to me, so much so that I soon knew I was on the very ground I had seen in my vision in the Baptist Church. I saw the place where I had held my first meeting, and my joy was great to behold with my eyes what I bad seen through a glass darkly. I turned aside from the road, and beneath the spreading branches of the forest trees I lifted my heart with gratitude to God for what he had done for me. I then went to the house where I had seen the multitude assemble, and where I was preaching. I saw the two young ladies there that I had beheld in my vision. They appeared to me as though I had known them from infancy, they so perfectly accorded with those that I had seen while God permitted me to see into futurity. . Yes, I saw the ladies, but their father was gone from home. I asked for a drink of water, and it was handed to me, as I had seen it done in my vision. I asked them if there had ever been any Mormon preachers in that country. They said there had not been any there. The young ladies were modest and genteel in behavior.

    I passed on to the Cumberland River, was set over the river by the ferryman, and lodged at his house. So far all was natural, it was part of what God had shown me; but I was then at the outer edge of my familiar scenery. I stayed about a week with the ferryman. His name was Vanleven, a relative of my friend and banker in Illinois. I made myself useful while there. I attended the ferry, and did such work as I could see needed attending to. I also read and preached Mormon doctrines to the family. On the fifth day after reaching the ferry, I saw five men coming to the ferry. I instantly recognized one of them as the man 1 had seen in my vision-the man that took me to his house to preach. My heart leaped for joy, for God had sent him in answer to the prayers I had offered to God, asking that the man should be sent for me. I crossed the men over and back again, and although I talked considerably to the man about what was uppermost in my mind, he said nothing about my going home with him. I was much disappointed. I retired for secret prayer, and asked God, in the name of His Son Jesus Christ, to aid me, to send the man whom I had seen in my vision back for me. Before I left my knees I had an evidence that my prayer was answered. The next morning at daylight I informed my friends that I must depart in search of my field of labor. They asked me to stay until breakfast, but I refused. One of the negroes put me over the river, and directed me how to cross the mountains on the trail that was much shorter than the wagon road. I stopped in a little cove and ate a number of fine, ripe cherries. I then went on until I reached what to me was enchanted ground. I met the two sisters at the gate, and asked them if their father was at home. "No, he is not at home, said the ladies, "he has gone to the ferry to see a Mormon preacher, and see if he can get him to come here and preach in this neighborhood, and then said I must have met him on the road. I told them that I had come over the trail, and said I was probably the man he bad gone for. They replied, "Our father said that if you came this way, to have you stop and stay here until his return, and to tell you that you are welcome to. preach at our house at any time." This was on Friday. I took out my pencil and wrote a notice that I would preach at that place on the following Sunday, at ten o'clock, A. M. I handed it to the girls. They agreed to have the appointment circulated: I passed on and preached at a place twelve miles from there, and returned in time for my appointment. When I arrived within sight of the place of meeting, I was filled with doubt and anxiety. I trembled all over, for I saw that a vast concourse or people had come to hear an inexperienced man preach the gospel. I went into the grove and again prayed for strength and assistance from my Father in Heaven, to enable me to speak His truth aright. I felt strengthened and comforted. As I arose from prayer, these words came into my mind, "Truth is mighty and will prevail."

     I waited until the hour arrived for preaching; then I approached the place where I had once been in a vision. This meeting-place was in a valley, near a bold, pure spring; on either aide was a high, elevated country; in the centre of this valley there stood a large blacksmith and wagon shop, surrounded with a bower of brush wood, to protect the audience from the sun. This bower would seat one thousand people. In the centre of the bower they had erected a frame work or raised platform for a pulpit. I took my place and preached for one hour and a half. My tongue was like the pen of a ready writer. I scarcely knew what I was saying. I then opened the doors of the Church for the admission of members. Five persons joined the Church, and I appointed another meeting for that night. I again preached, when two more joined the Church. The next day I baptized the seven new members. I then arranged to hold meetings at that place three times a week. I visited around the country, seeking to convert sinners, while not engaged at this place. The first converts were leading people in that county. Elisha Sanders and his wife and daughter were the first to receive the gospel. Sanders was a farmer; he had a large flouring mill, owned a wood yard, and was engaged in boat-building on the' Cumberland River. Caroline C. Sanders had volunteered, to publish the appointment of my first meeting, which I left with the daughters of Mr. Smith.

    I labored at this place two months, and baptized twenty-eight persons mostly the heads of families. I then organized them into a branch of the Church. Brother Sanders fitted up a room very handsomely for me, in which I could retire for study, rest, and secret prayer. I was made to feel at home there, and felt that God had quite fully answered my prayers. I had the knowledge that God's Spirit accompanied my words, carrying conviction to the hearts of sinful hearers, and gave me souls as seals to my ministry.

    Brother Stewart soon preached himself out at his relatives' neighborhood. He heard of my success, and came to me. He said that the people where he had been preaching were an unbelieving set. I introduced him to the members of my congregation, and had him preach with me a few times, which gratified him very much. One Sunday we were to administer the Ordinance of Baptism. Several candidates were in attendance. Brother Stewart was quite anxious to baptize the people. I was willing to humor him. So I said, "My friends, Brother Stewart, a priest of the New Dispensation, will administer the Ordinance of Baptism. The people stood still; no one would go forward or consent for him to baptize them. They said they would not be baptized until I would baptize them myself. I told them I would act if they desired it. So I baptized the people, and Brother Stewart was much offended with them. He had not yet learned that he that exalteth himself shall be cast down, and he that humbleth himself shall be exalted. I then called on the people for a contribution, to get some clothing for Brother Stewart. I had concluded to have him return home, and wished to clothe him up before he started, for he was then quite in need of it. The contribution was more liberal than I expected.

    I stayed there some three weeks after Brother Stewart had started for home. Then I made up my mind to go home and visit my family. Brother E. Sanders invited me to go to Gainsborough with him, where he presented me with a nice supply of clothing. Caroline C. Sanders presented me with a fine horse, saddle and bridle, and $12 in money. The congregation gave me $50, and I had from them an outfit worth over $300. I at first refused to accept the horse, but Miss Sanders appeared so grieved at this that I finally took it. I left my congregation in charge of Elder Julien Moses, and started for my family about the lst of October, 1839. I promised to call on my flock the next Spring, or to send a suitable minister to wait upon them.

    When I reached Vandalia, Illinois, I found my family well. God had raised up friends for them in my absence. The Saints were then gathering at Commerce, Hancock County, Illinois. I visited my sister's family that Fall; they then lived about one hundred miles north of Vandalia. I preached often through Central Illinois, and that Fall I baptized all of my wife's family, except her father. He held out and refused the gospel until he was on his death bed; then he demanded baptism, but being in a country place he died before an elder could be procured to baptize him. But by the rules of our Church a person can be baptized for the dead, and so he was saved to eternal life by the baptism of one of his children for the salvation of his soul.